


Butterflies

by minhyunbin



Category: JBJ (Band), NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Horror, M/M, Psychological Horror, Supernatural Elements, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 22:53:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11724276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minhyunbin/pseuds/minhyunbin
Summary: Butterflies are a symbol of beauty that transcend generations, where youth blossoms as it emerges from the shell of what it once was. Hwang Minhyun was the perfect example of a butterfly in his elegance and poise, in his clear oynx-like eyes and gentle smile; he was an epitome of ethereal that emerged from his chrysalis. For budding model Kwon Hyunbin, Minhyun was everything he wanted to be and everything he wanted. But just how far was he willing to go, to embrace the rebirth of his own?( And if he knew the pains it took to spin the webs of fate upon himself, would he have embraced it at all? )





	1. Foreword

**Author's Note:**

> trigger Warning: gore and mutilation, written sexual intimacy, drug usage insinuation and potential character death
> 
> burst of inspirations from re-reading an old manga by Junji Ito and partly by Helter Skelter. Graphic details are mentioned so please take note of the trigger warnings as stated. — yours sincerely, Sonagi♡

_butterflies, butterflies,_  
in all its beauty and glory,  
wake up from your deep slumber  
for it's time to start anew.

 _every breath taken,_  
every flutter of your wings,  
embrace it, embrace it.

 _the beauty that transcends skin deep,_  
at the price of your heart,  
mind, and soul.

 _flutter..._  
~~flutter~~  
               ( gone ).


	2. Butterflies

" _Ung_... _ha_... _ah_ , Hyunbi-in... _ha_...more..."

Soft moans mingled with heavy breathing filled the room, as with smell of sex and sounds of flesh thrusting against flesh, limbs in a tangled mess on crumbled sheets. Hyunbin groaned, half-whining and half-a-gruff as he leaned forth, fingers grabbing onto the elder's wrists so hard it would definitely bruise in hours to come. But it's that exact sick thrill of leaving a mark, any mark, that and his fingers clamping down hard; below him, a male with pale skin and deep dark eyes in half-lidded state, and he paused for the brevity of a minute to sink deeper. Sweat stuck their loose locks to the sides of their face, parted lips calling out his name, and he moved once more, harder, faster as instructed.

His fingers found the other's as the climax piled up, rising from his chest and tummy clenching. He let go to grab the waist, and immediately those hands found their way to his cheeks, cupping them before encircling behind his neck, tugging. The younger model lurched forwards as he pressed their lips together in a sloppy kiss, all teeth and tongue in the heat of the moment, as they ride it out to the end.

Hyunbin falls asleep first thereafter, when they lay side by side trying to catch a breath of air, head turned to face each other. It's then that he appreciated Minhyun even more, in all his beauty of pale skin and delicate features, of his slightly lifted ends of monolid eyes and tall nose. And it was in those dark, onyx-like eyes that he found himself lured into, like a black hole that commanded all and his sole focus. And he fell, falling into the depths of the gleam of the gemstone-bright pupils and quirk of pretty lips, his own eyes fluttering to a close with the whisper of ' _sleep_ ' from the elder.

* * *

His relationship with Minhyun could be simplified as 'complicated'. They shared a different level of intimacy in different settings, lingering between friends to colleagues, between hyung-dongsaeng to mentor-mentee. He looked up from his slight nap, eyes staring into the dresser mirror as the hair-stylist pulled his black hair into a 2:8 parting, before they matched with the opposite dresser where Minhyun sat, longer locks pulled with a small perm to a comma-like fringe that exposed just the slightest bit of his forehead.

Minhyun. Hwang Minhyun. Minhyun was a senior model in his company, someone whom had experience crossing fashion runways to gracing magazine photo shoots, to making music video appearances and even styling programs on cable channels. Despite being one of the shorter male models around at the height of 1.83m, Minhyun makes it up with his great body proportions and gorgeous features, with an air of confidence and charisma of a seasoned celebrity. They nicknamed him a chameleon, the model who could do just about any concepts, who looks his part depending on different styles. 

Hyunbin preferred the nickname 'butterfly', someone with a graceful aura that no one other could emulate, just like the small geometric butterfly tattoo on his right shoulder blade, one that he just kissed the very night before. Complex lines etched out the patterned wings with a deep, dark blue outline, the younger always thought it seemed to be alive whenever Minhyun shrugged his shoulders or shivered under his touch, prompting him to trace every single line with the tip of his tongue or the flats of his index finger.

And yet, they were no lovers.

When he started off two months ago, Hyunbin was assigned to Minhyun as a rookie model, an assistant of sorts to learn the tricks of the trade; it was part of the company's program to widen their own social contacts for future projects, all the while creating inter-company bonds akin to an extended family - _company philosophy_ , they said as they walked him into their own practice studio, where his eyes landed on the figure flipping through magazines idly in the room. Even then in the casual comforts of a plain tee and ripped jeans, the senior looked like he was in the middle of a modeling shoot, one knee hitched up on the wooden chair as the other extended under the table. It's the first time they met, but Hyunbin had seen him before, on the many magazine covers that he owned, the styling icon he looked up to as a stocky high schooler who happened to have a growth spurt of sixteen centimeters over one summer season.

Needless to say, when he was scouted off near the end of his high school years by the exact same company, Hyunbin had said yes, given that he made his graduation first. 

Now, he's here. He found himself smiling back through the mirror in between the secrecy of their quiet glances one aisle apart, and even the dim lighting backstage of a fashion runway could not stop Minhyun from glowing. pale skin reflecting the bright lights of the dresser table. His tattoo seemed to glow too, a sheen of blue in the slightest movement of his shoulders peeking through the sides of his white sleeveless tee. 

Hyunbin found his line of sight drawn to him like a moth to flames, and if he would combust upon the graze of his flesh, the young model would have turned into ashes and be reborn time and time again, with each night of passion they shared.

* * *

"Hyung, what's that?"

It was the morning after one of such cycles, with Hyunbin sauntering out in his morning haze with bird nest hair stuck in all odd angles. Minhyun had woke up way before him even if he slept later, face radiating with a glow that he struggled to find the right adjective to describe without coming off as under whelming. As a male, the raven had the beauty that was not defined to a certain gender; there's masculinity in his jaws but softness in his eyes, and depending on the curve of his smile he's warm or cold or anything in between; despite his boyish features, his body was that of a full-fledge adult, sculpted muscles in all the right places, not too bulky nor too skinny. Everything about Minhyun was 'just right', but never average, it was a flawless balance of everything, and he's left staring unabashed at the smooth skin of his exposed limb tracing up to the pink tint of his ears.

Their sexual escapades have increased over the last month, between shared kisses backstage DDP during Fashion Week to naughtier blowjobs in the company bathroom. What started off as a simple offer of sex had spun out of control into an ambiguous relationship without a name. One-night-stands no longer qualifies for the intimacy they've had, but sex friends was too vulgar for the likes of Minhyun, who even with marked and bruised skin could not be plastered with a casual term like that. 

( Hyunbin would add that his admiration for the other had far surpassed that of a fan to his idol, of a rookie to his senior. He was captivated to the innermost part of his heart, so much so that he could declare his mind and body as Minhyun's slave. )

"You mean this?"

Honey-like voice underlined with amusement, Minhyun spoke up as he raised a white, odd-shaped pill. A flush found its way across Hyunbin's cheeks, obviously caught staring. The senior model's eyes twinkled with a knowing glint, head tilted to the side as he chuckled. He popped the pill into his mouth and took a mouthful of water, pouring a new glass on the table before he took the clear glass bottle filled with the white pills, offering it out to Hyunbin.

"It's protein pills. I don't like the gym, so...I use this. It helps me keep in shape, and it's vigorizing. Maybe, Hyunbin- _ssi_ should try it, too. It can keep you up all day... _and all night_."

He stepped closer, shoving the bottle into the younger's hands. The red-haired male - new hair dye courtesy of a brand new sweets campaign he was recently selected for, endorsed by Minhyun himself - stared at the bottle just as the raven continued, sweet voice whispering directly into his ears. It tickled, hot breath slipping past his sensitive ears trailing down his neck where he plopped a kiss on the bare skin. Even in private, during normal conversations, Minhyun always addressed him as 'Hyunbin- _ssi_ ', an ounce of formality with a familiarity casualness, as if flirting with him like how one would see the other as a viable partner, yet treating him with the respect of an acquaintance.

( It's only in bed with intertwined fingers and his legs spreading wide and wrapped around his waist, would he call Hyunbin's name directly, in broken chunks in the middle of breathy pockets of air and shuddering moans. )

The cup of water was in his hands by the time Minhyun stepped away, the faintest whiff of a floral scent lingering the now-empty space. Hyunbin shook away his sleepy haze, bringing the bottle to his eye level. The pills were never like anything he saw before, white with faint lines drawn across them, barely visible to the naked eye. They looked like white jelly beans, curling up in uneven shapes, smooth on the surface but they looked soft to touch. Hyunbin swallowed, unease settling in his tummy; something told him that he shouldn't be taking unprescribed drugs; he's heard all about the dealings in the industry like his, the illegal trades beneath the gilded surface of lavish glamor, the stories of addictions to the wrong kind of substances in name of beauty.

After all, the modeling business is only skin deep.

But Minhyun is different, different from every last one of them. His beauty was not like any of the other models who struggled through extensive periods of starvation, radiating complexion not a result of layers and layers of chalky make-up. There was no signs of his struggle again age, against the sinful indulgence of alcohol and other vices that ran rampant in the circles. 

Surely, the pill was fine? Hyunbin knew he was inclined to believed in the elder. Supplements were a lesser of two evils, vitamins to replenish bruised skin and weariness from a day's full of work. The senior's voice came to mind once, the soft whisper smooth as velvet slipping into his ears that promised him of only the positive traits, nothing else. 

Hesitantly he opened up the bottle, slender digits reaching into the half-filled glass, and the tips of his manicured fingers grazed the softness of the protein pills. He stopped, eyes widening as he pressed down again, the bean-looking pill an odd texture he's never encountered before. They were softer than jellybeans, almost squishy to touch, and they felt warm. Slowly, he pressed his index finger against the handful of white...

...and felt the slightest pulse of a heartbeat.

The glass shattered into tiny pieces as Hyunbin yelped, jumping backwards as the bottle slipped from his shaking hands. Hurriedly, he set his glass of water onto the table when hurried, shuffled feet brought the owner of the apartment towards the rookie model. 

_"What have you done?"_

Long eyes blinked in rapid succession at the anger reflected in Minhyun's voice, resonating with an overwhelming tension beneath the calm expression. Hyunbin flinched, rooted in his spot as the elder lowered himself into a squatting position, examining the mess on the floor. The white pills scattered across the wooden flooring, broken glass crunching under the weight of Minhyun's slippers as he tried to maneuver himself carefully.

"Hyung, I'm sorry-"  
"Don't."

His tone was cold, and Hyunbin thought he was doused with a bucket of iced water. Minhyun turned his head away from him, picking up the pills into his hand carefully. The taller of the two swallowed, thick lips parted to say something, _anything_ , but words were unable to make sense as they got stuck in his throat. Hand raised and reaching out for the tattooed shoulder, he paused just few inches shy at the slouched over torso, anger easing out of those fox-like eyes and turning heat into what seemed like sorrow, brows knitted and all. He dropped his hand, whispering another apology just loud enough for him to hear, and he watched as Minhyun picked up the last spot of white on the floor, movements stilled. A sigh, lashes fluttering to a close, he waved him off.

"I'm sorry."  
"Just...go shower, Hyunbin- _ssi_."

Minhyun's words were colder than the shoulder turning away from him, leaving the shattered glass on the floor, like the mess of his own feelings, or the crack of their relationship, whatever it was.

( And the memory of the the weird sensation of those pills now rendered forgotten, left at the back of his mind. )

* * *

Things had changed since then.

There were no new calls and no new messages despite his numerous attempts at reaching him. He wasn't at his apartment either, and no matter what timing he visited - in wee hours of the morning, intoxicated, or in the afternoon before his scheduled photo shoot - there was zero responses to the door bell, the melody echoing in the empty premises. It's almost like Minhyun vanished into thin air, and if not for the gigantic billboard he would walk past en route to the subway station featuring the male in his trademark smile and dark, black eyes, he would have thought his last few months were a complete illusion.

Everyday, Hyunbin found himself roaming the office for a glimpse his senior, only to return home disappointed. Questions eat at him from the inside, and anxiousness and tension had pulled his spirit taut; he thinks he's just this close to snapping into half, his head filled with images of Minhyun's smile, voice and that blue ink of a butterfly tattoo that rippled with each shiver as he ran his finger down his spine. The smell of fresh peaches evoked their shared memories of an unmade bed, the scent of freshly brewed green tea when he entered a cafe reminded him of Minhyun's favorite cup of morning tea.

Alone in the showers, his body shuddered at the thought of missing the elder's bare flesh; his lips yearned for a taste of his intoxicating smooth skin, to press a trail of wet kisses past his flushed cheeks down his adam's apple and further down to his sculpted abs; his fingers craved to sink into the softness of his hips and run along the firm back muscles, a result of consistent gym despite the elder's vocal distaste for it, before their fingers intertwined in the last ride to heavens. Jerking himself off never felt so unsatisfying, because he wanted to sink into the sinful plump cheeks over and over again, all through the night till the glow of the morning sun baked into their skin, to turn those eager moans into husky, loud exhalations overnight.

Even the streets he walked, the pavements and cobblestones, the bricks and tiles, he could imagine Minhyun's softer footsteps as he thread upon them behind him, light feet and wide strides, dancing across the flooring. Day in, day out, Minhyun's reflection came to mind whenever he closed his eyes, and even seeking the solace of alcohol did little to relief him of his overwhelmed emotions. He invaded his consciousness and subconscious, in his dreams where his butterfly tattoo turned into breathtaking blue wings that spread as wide as his outstretched arms, before he disappeared across the horizon as he fell deep down into a bottomless pit.

_Was he doing well? Where was he? Why wasn't he picking up his calls, reading his texts? Does he have someone else, **someone else** that  replaced him?_

He has been asking around, but no one seemed to know where he went, what he was doing. And he's heard things, things such as a fresh new guy in the building that might or might not be assigned to Minhyun the same way he was. Some said the raven was away for an overseas shoot. Some whispers even suggest that he's quit the scene. And Hyunbin would believe in neither of them, even if his eyes saw red at the mere thought of the elder writhing under someone elses' touch, spending his time with them in the apartment he's half-lived in the last two months.

Minhyun _hyung_. **_Minhyun_ _hyung_**...

He's everywhere, in photo shoots and magazines and the internet, plastered along the walls of subway stations and appearing on television, _everywhere_ but in front of him, as if _taunting_ him. And soon even his voice and laughter ringing in his head sounded like an insulting sneer, a witches' crackle from a nightmare. Hyunbin lost count of the days as the mysterious disappearance plagued his entire existence, where unease turned into confusion, into frustrations and into distress. Getting a wink of sleep was rare, and dark circles pooled under his eyes, his cheeks hollowing out and sullen within weeks, barely coverable by high quality make-up. 

The fear of those white pills were nothing compared to his actual addiction to Minhyun's entire being, from the loose locks of his fringe that covered his eyes to the quiet whispers of his name. Kwon Hyunbin was a drug addict to the illegal substance titled 'Hwang Minhyun', and the withdrawal symptoms were coming at him hard and fast like a tornado without any chances.

He fell eventually, body giving in to exhaustion as he fell, and in the moment before his face hits the ground, eyes clamping shut in a shutting down process, the flash of his hyung's beautiful smile and perfect pearly whites came to mind. 

He guessed he wouldn't mind never, _ever_ waking up again just for a peace of mind.

* * *

He did wake up from his slumber after all. The familiar face had loomed in sight, Minhyun's beautiful features as refined in the way he remembered, handsome brows trailing to the shadows of the ceiling light against his tall nose, and down to those mildly prominent cheekbones that pushes upwards with every curve of a smile. And of course, those dark, dark onyx-like pupils that shone even in the darkest of the night. Hyunbin thought he was dreaming until fingers ran through his hair, massaging his scalp ever so gently and comfortably. There was even a soft hum coming from the lips he missed so dearly, and his lids fall shut in slow blinks for a moment's longer, falling into the magic that is the hyung's calming hand gestures.

"Are you finally up?"

Hyunbin nodded, eyes opening to Minhyun's small smile, corners of his lips pressed in the slightest upwards tilt, but made no move to shift from his current position. Laying with his head comfortably on the elder's lap, he took a moment to look at the surroundings, eyes getting used to the harsh white lights, realizing that he's in the company's private lounge, one reserved for senior artistes on the company's roll. Fingers grazed the sides of his cheeks, following the hollowed shape down the side of his chin, a subtle way that commanded his absolute attention.

"Your manager was worried about you, Hyunbin-ssi. You blacked out along the corridors. I had him bring you here so you can have some more rest - he had other errands to run, anyway."

Right. Hyunbin slowly pulled himself into a seated position, legs parted as his elbows rest atop his knees, head bowed. He's still feeling a little light-headed, but the short nap did wonders, and it was the best he's ever slept since the past weeks. Slowly he turned to face Minhyun, weariness settling in his bones ached but they were little compared to the way his heart had been clenching from missing him. And yet here he was, sitting right next to him in perfect composure as if nothing had happened, nothing had changed. As if the last few weeks of pure torture on his end was a mirage, and he would have believed it to be a long, haunting nightmare if he himself wasn't in a miserable state visible to the average eye. 

"You lost a lot of weight. Have you even been eating?"

There was concern laced in his short statements, worry seen on the deepening frown of the pretty face. Minhyun was still radiating, life flushed across his cheeks and stars dancing in his eyes. His skin glowed even if he had no make-up on, a natural shine that showed robust health. But Hyunbin cannot bring himself to hate him any one bit, not when the person he yearned for like a madman is finally there, in front of him. So he nodded, falling forth into a pair of arms that caught him readily, his face buried into the croon of his neck, a whiff of light floral invading his senses. All the burning questions he had were forgotten, lost their importance. A short chuckle entered his ears, and Hyunbin could only grip tighter, fingers bunching the crisp ends of the elder's white shirt. Minhyun was there with arms around him, and that's enough.

"I gave you the pill I was talking about the other day...the vigorizing pill. It's a vitamin, and it's for your own good, Hyunbin- _ah_."

The red-haired pulled away to look at Minhyun, at the affectionate term which warmed his heart down to the very depths of his tummy, and the raven raised both hands to cup the younger's face with utmost care. Subconsciously, Hyunbin nuzzled into the pair of warm hands, craning his head slightly to land a soft kiss into the open palm. The senior model let him, humming a bit before leaning in close. Hyunbin parted his lips to say something, but a finger forbid him from saying more.

"I'm sorry for being late, but I'm here now. And I will make you beautiful again, I promise. Hyunbin- _ssi_."

The kiss he gave barely touched Hyunbin's lips, obstructed by the index finger in place, an action to tease, and the younger just found himself falling for him all over again. 

As long as he have Minhyun back, Hyunbin realized he would willing fall into the pits of hell fire and back again.

* * *

The pills became a staple of his daily life, taken once a day, every morning without fail. Hyunbin put aside his initial distaste for the texture of the little white beans, soft to touch with some elasticity, and he soon came to realize the pros far outlast his first scrutiny. 

His skin cleared, ridding itself of any patches of raw redness from sensitivity as a healthy pink tinted the apples of his cheeks. His appetite returned, meal portions growing even, but the weight gained on him helped fill his hollow cheeks. His hair grew faster, as noted even by his hair stylist, and potential bald spots due to stress from previous weeks were no more. Gym sessions became more effective, as muscle mass gain seemed to be easier, his stamina running higher than before. An hour on the treadmill felt like a breeze compared to him weeks ago, and while he broke out in sweat he wasn't as easily out of breath. Getting through each day was way easier, with his need for naps lessening. Even his sex drive increased, his craving to print his mark on his lover arose every night, once, twice, _more_.

Hyunbin didn't know if it's just the pills. He doubt so, or such things would have made its way around the club. Dermatology clinics would be of little use compared to what these pills could do if that was the case, but he couldn't help but doubt them as little miracle helpers. He tilted his head, taking a second glance of himself in the mirror. His stubble was invisible to the naked eye, skin as smooth as porcelain as he ran his fingers past the cheeks down to the chin, and further pass the neck. He guessed that it had to do with the mood of being joyous, with his change in attitude from despair to hope. 

With falling in love.

At least, that's what he told himself as he took the next pill, and the next, and the _next._

"What's in the pills?"

His question came out of the blue as Minhyun arched a brow, pulling away to look at the younger in the eyes. Hyunbin eased his heavy breathing, lidded eyes looking at the other model as he repeated his question. Minhyun's brows furrowed slightly, lips pulled into a mildly irked expression at being interrupted. Sliding his large hands up his bare back, Hyunbin coaxed in silent apology, but his curiosity was running high for the last few days. It has been a month, a month of them getting together officially, or in Minhyun's words " _would you move in with me?_ "

And his butterflies fluttered in his stomach every time he looked back. The pains of losing him in that short period was fading away, and every time Minhyun flashed one of his smiles, Hyunbin fell, tummy clenching with a tingling and warm feeling all over. And yet, he can't help but ask, brooding over the secrecy of the white pills that he was given. Now that the elder was back from his overseas shoot, even if they were in the midst of their intimate runs, Hyunbin blurted out the question hovering in his mind.

"Is that important right now?"

There's an air of disbelief laced in his words, Minhyun leaning down to pepper light kisses across his chest, teeth nipping at his skin in light of the sudden query. Each move of his shoulders seemed to give life to the tattoo, and it took Hyunbin a great deal of focus to pull away from the mesmerizing, intricate lines of the ink. Their eyes met as Minhyun flicked his tongue off the dips in between Hyunbin's sculpted chest, teasing fingers lightly drumming along his abs. The younger felt it again, the flutter of the butterflies' wings against his tummy, a tingling feeling that sent waves of shudders up his spine. That seemed to put Minhyun in a slightly better mood as he dropped himself beside the taller boy, elbow propping up his head as a free hand lazily stroke the insides of his thighs. 

"It's a nature pill, infused with herbs from the south east Asia region. Natural, no preservatives, in it's most pure form. Can I have your full attention on me now, my love?"

His tummy clenched when Minhyun ran the flats of his finger up upwards, tracing the veins on the underside of his hard erection. Yet his eyes bored into him, lips pulling into that nonchalant curl in his teases, and Hyunbin let loose a soft moan of approval. He watched as Minhyun laughed, rolling on top of him once more to resume his routine, seemingly satisfied with the younger's reactions.

"L-love?"

The word did not slip past him however; it still came off as a surprise whenever the other used affectionate terms with him, even if Minhyun was always a lot more affectionate in bed. But the acknowledgement of their relationship, the usage of the word 'love' brought forth such strong emotions within him - that of desire and possession, of warmth and endearment. Long fingers threaded into those luscious black locks as pink tongue dipped into his navel, Hyunbin cussed.

"Yes. I love you, Hyunbin- _ah_."

Between each spoken word is a soft kiss on his tummy, causing his abs to ripple from the tickling sensations. He felt more than heard Minhyun quiet laughter, and he fell even more as his stomach burst in fluttering butterflies. And with each kiss, each warm breath ghosting on his taut skin; each moan leaving those lips as the elder rocked against his hips, it's ecstasy in tangible form. Minhyun was intoxicating and addictive, more so than cheap soju or dangerous pills. It occurred to him then that the angel of a senior was probably the personification of vices himself, but it only made him love him more.

More. More, _more_ and **more.** He needed it, to inhale his sweet floral scent and taste the saltiness of his skin, amid the room filled with smell and sounds of sex.

More.

"I...I love you too, _hmm_...Minhyun hyung..."

* * *

Stagnant. That's how he felt in another two weeks, where he seemed to have reached the optimum of his state. His skin was practically flawless at this point, regardless of the amount of foundation patting onto his skin or clogging his pores, but compared to his lover they don't have a beautiful glow. The same goes for everything else. Hyunbin found himself comparing to the person sleeping beside him every night, his eyes wandering over his reflection in the mirrors as he wondered. He looked the same from months before, and yet he's different. His baby fats were shedding fast, chiseled jawline pronounced. His body figure was great, six-packs easily the envy of other models, sculpted biceps formed a beautiful line in proportions to his broadening shoulders.

And still, _different_. It's different from Minhyun, who eludes beauty in his entire being. Minhyun who commands attention with the quirk of his lips or the tilt of his head. Minhyun- _hyung_ who stated that his complex was his smaller hands, and yet the pink tips of his fingers and smooth, pale skin, plus his gentle and knowing touches, all made up for the flaws. 

He didn't know when he started this little comparison, the greed for more rearing its ugly heads when their eyes met. In those opal black orbs that reflected his own face, Hyunbin wanted his own eyes to have dancing stars that shine like the milky way. He wanted grace to carry his steps down the runway, he wanted that air of royalty that have others falling at his feet. 

He simply wanted to be on the same level as his beloved.

The male's answer to his burning thirst and greed, was the glass bottle of white miracle pills. Minhyun had given him explicit instructions on taking them, no more than one pill in a near twenty-four hour period, because 'too much of something good does not equate to something great'. But the temptation lingered. The more he hung around his hyung, the more he saw admiration stemming from other rookies around him, flocking towards Minhyun and covering him with their cheap perfumes and dry, tasteless laughter, the more desperate he felt. The craving to keep Minhyun by his side made his throat run dry, and butterflies in his tummy turned from flutters of shyness as their eyes met to a throbbing and clenching mess of frustration, of unexplained anger and discomfort.

Minhyun had said that Hyunbin would pick it all up in due time when the younger had shared his little concerns, advice of being patient given to him as amusement slipped in the undertones followed by a light ruffle through his cropped hair. That no human was perfect from the get go. That even the majestic Kwon Hyunbin have to start from somewhere, and perhaps in a month's time he would make a whole lot of difference.

But a month's time sound too far away, like a timeline from another universe. Whenever he saw Minhyun's face across the covers of fashion magazines, when his admiration of the elder's beautiful proportions and posture turned into childish envy, Hyunbin wanted the growing process to churn faster. 

His eyes gazed over the half-empty glass bottle, and swallowed. _An extra pill a day wouldn't hurt_ , he thought, he'd just take one in the day and one in the night, enough for him to last through added sessions in the gym to maintain his muscle-to-fats ratio and energy to power through his increasing schedules.

Breakfast. Dinner. Breakfast. Dinner.

It should work.

* * *

**It didn't.**

Hyunbin widened his eyes in horror as an alarming, bluish-tint under his eyes formed one morning. Dark eye circles permeated from under his pale skin, like a bruised mark that appeared overnight without any warning. Slapping his hand against the bathroom mirror as he inched closer to the reflective surface, he felt his breath hitched at the sign of tiny veins popping up, forming grotesque maze-like protruding lines. His hands shook as he traced them with the tip of his index finger, stumbling away in horror at the bumpy sensation. That's not all - hollowing cheeks looked devoid of life, and his skin seemed to sag, forming some sort of wrinkles around his mouth.

He closed his eyes and buried his face into his hands, unwilling to look any further. _When? Since when?_ Things had went by all too smoothly in the last two months, and yet overnight it seemed like everything was just a dream, like he had regressed to the lowest point in his life. Teeth sank into his thick bottom lip as a stroke of pain stemmed from his tummy, enough to pull his focus away from the mess of his face to look down his naked torso.

"... _what-_ "

Words stuck to his throat, blocking off the yell that threatened to spill but couldn't, suffocating him in a wheezing hitch. There, in place of his proudly displayed abs, was an oddly shaped lump. And then, it moved. Hyunbin didn't have time to observe the monstrosity when a sheering pain brought him on his hands and knees, bowing over. It felt like someone was stretching him from the inside, pushing against the thin sensitive walls of his stomach.

_Like it wanted out._

"...h-help..."

His murmur was muffled by a choking cough, bile and spit gathering as he heaved. The model barely got to the toilet bowl before he hurled the contents from the night before, as with a couple of half digested white pills and other disgusting content. Hands reached out for the hanging towel in a weak tug. He could feel cold sweat pooling around his temples, the growing sense of discomfort turned into a full-blown assault of unexplained agony, like something was gnawing at his insides. Grabbing at the towel again, he pulled in a flinging motion, and several things were sent flying, metal and glass bottles crashing onto the tiled floor around him, barely propped against the toilet bowl with one elbow on the porcelain seat.

He could feel the pain overwhelming his consciousness as his eyes blinked rapidly, the world spinning in his eyes and the last time he saw before he slipped off onto the ground, was Minhyun's handsome face and pair of bright, dark eyes, mouthing something that he could no longer hear.

The next time he opened his eyes, the living room ceiling came to view, as with the hanging lights. The sheering pain turned into a dull, continuous ache and a groan left his lips at the stretching sensation inside. Slowly he raised a hand to rest it on his stomach, feeling the mix of the odd lump and mild abs with every breath he took. Hyunbin still felt weak, weaker than before, his eyelids feeling heavy with each long blink. A long shadow blocked out the harsh rays streaming in from the windows, and the younger looked up at his expressionless lover with a plea on his lips, tears streaming down the sides of his face from the torment of the throbbing, gnawing discomfort.

"...h-hyung...please...i can't..."  
"Shhh...Hyunbin-ah, it's going to be okay. Close your eyes, you'd be fine."  
"Minhyun hyung...?"

Soft lips pressed against him in coaxing, and Hyunbin found his eyes closing as wetness streamed down the side of his cheeks. The pain ebbed away with the gentle, soothing rubs of the elder's hand. He felt his body become lighter, as if someone had cast a drowsy spell over him, lids weighing down heavily as he remained in his laying position. The male felt more than saw his lover moved away, the shadow through his thin eyelids was lifted. Fingers traced around the edges of the bulging mass, and it was in that frame of a moment did he forced his eyes open.

"...hyung-!"

The cry barely left his throat in a strangled twist, eyes widening as he watched Minhyun stood over him, knife held above his head before he plunged down. There was a squelching sound, with the blade digging through layers of flesh, muscle and fats of his stomach; red spots splattered onto Minhyun's face and arms and parts of his crisp white shirt, blossoming like painted roses with smell of rust invading the peach-scented room. His heartbeat drummed loudly in his ears, drowning out every cry in his mind. Adrenaline and fear paralyzed him in his spot, overwhelming his senses of pain as he could only watch as Minhyun raised the blood-stained knife and plunge in again, and again in his tear-stained vision.

The onyx-like eyes that shone in the light like a polished gem seemed to glow, as the hacking turned into forced sawing, blade twisting into his abdomen. His limbs lay limp on the sides, eyes barely blinking as he stared ahead, horror wavering in his shaking pupils when Minhyun tugged with an unfazed expression. And then right in front of his eyes, came a giant mass of _something_ , strings of red blood dripping downwards with tiny pieces of skin and lining. It looked like the pill he took every day, but a giant version of it, with redness etched deeply into each of the horizontal lines, making it more prominent, more terrifying. The force drew a choked gasped as his body jerked in reaction, and then a rain of fluttering wings filled the air in sound and sight, with one landed on the tip of his nose.

_Butterflies._

They were butterflies, in their glorious black and blue rimmed with his blood, dripping off the edges with each slow flap of its wings. They were beauty in all grotesque glory, with grace and bloodlust coming together as one, mesmerizing and yet frightening. They swamped his vision, blocking out the light of the room in its frenzy of new-found freedom, finding their place on walls and the couch and on his body. His vision went from the tiny critter on his nose, leaving trails of his own blood with it's feet as it strolled up the bridge of his nose, gazing past it to the bundle in Minhyun's arms; the male shook it twice, and even then he could see the gentle affection in his eyes, and that slow, soft curl of his lips. The extracted mass wiggled...and uncurled itself within the soiled hands, the revealing it's true colors.

Black spots in a neat line appeared one after another, stubs of its many limbs wriggling free. It's long chubby body squirmed in Minhyun's hold, jiggling with each movement of its stubby legs as they flailed in the air. And at the very tip, was a hideous face with two protruding eyes, shining like black onyx under light. Slowly, the creature opened its mouth opened and let out a shrill scream, enough to shatter the remaining of his sanity, a scream that he too, had been holding it in.

* * *

"You're an eager one, aren't you? And big too, just like your host."

Minhyun drawled lazily as he rapped the tips of his fingers against his own cheek, chin resting on open palm to observed the critter within the glass incubating box. The ends of his hair is wet, towel wrapped around his neck as he wore a simple black sleeveless tee. The large caterpillar the size of his forearm curled within the box after a quick douse of rising, washing the gross, sticky blood off it's pristine white skin. The white blob rose and sank with each breath it took, seemingly content in the warmth of its new home where it will dwell for a month, before growing out it's own cocoon in preparation for its rebirth.

"If only you'd listen to my advice, Hyunbin-ah. Then you wouldn't be in so much pain. Then you wouldn't cause me so much trouble too."

The male sighed dramatically, but he smiled too, eyes softening at the sleeping creature. Hyunbin had always been overly eager to please, like a puppy wagging its little tail whenever his owner toss a ball. It's easy, almost too easy, but that was the very reason why he liked him. _Why_ he choose him. Hyunbin was a rookie with loud aspirations and wide-eye innocence amid this pungent flowerbed of tryhards and greed. The younger always held an air of naivety about him behind his towering height and maturing face. Like a pet. And so Minhyun took him under his wing, nurturing, coaxing. A little white lie, for the better.

"You ate more pills than you should every day, didn't you?"

The eggs of their kind hatch slow, grow slow according to the human body's calorie intake. Each day, a new egg entering the system hatches, and each day the hatched critters fought to be the reigning king in the game of survival. The weak ones get absorbed into the system of the winner, and the reigning king triumphs with the reward of being reborn. And all this while, the host gets a taste of what it's like - the perfect skin, the heightened senses of beauty, the spirit to command admiration, _the air of superiority._  It would have been more of a symbiotic relationship, and when the three months are up, the natural chrysalis cycle kicks in. The body becomes a cocoon of its own, falling into hibernation as the young critter eats it's way through the host, breaking down the samples of cells and making it their own. Another month, and they will emerged brand new, with pale skin flourishing with a healthy glow, bright eyes that captured attention, holding the elegance of The Ceylon Rose in it's light dance across the skies. Painless, _effortless._  

Then of course, there's the stagnation stage at about six weeks, where the human body no longer flourishes as functions slowed down, easing into what would have been the transitional stage. It's usually at this point where they fall into the temptation of consuming more pills in hops of quickening up the process, and Hyunbin was no different. Simple creatures they are, Minhyun mused as he tapped the glass softly, the snoozing critter barely reacting to the soft sound at all. The additional pills would cause the human body to degrade, as it was no longer possible for the human body to process the increased demands of the pupae. Hatched eggs that were not devoured would succeed in fulfilling it's full course into adulthood, fighting for space with the clumsy, giant critter right in the center of it. It was at this point where the radiant glow was no more, cheeks turning sullen as body weakens rapidly.

Seeking a fast solution forces the young caterpillar to grow at an accelerated rate. The symbotic relationship breaks down at this point, turning it into a parasite result. It was at this stage that Hyunbin got himself into, and Minhyun had to intervene before it got a little too bad. The worse case scenario would be both the host and the parasite dies, in which it would be a shame to the effort he threw in over the last few months. But _extraction_ , albeit mess ( his couch would have to go, he supposed, for no amount of fabric refresher could take away that lingering metallic scent. As for the body, he would wait for it to dry out like an abandoned cocoon, before it crumbles into dusts. ) could save the young, brewing life. 

Even if the critter had to spend the next month hand-fed pieces of the body by Minhyun and living its days in the comforts of the incubation box, he supposed it's a good enough alternative. Either way, when he emerged from it's shell to spread it's wings, Hyunbin too will be reborn, and both will be all _and_ one the same.

Just like him.

"Maybe this time, I'd keep you by my side."

And despite the smallest disappointment of failing the final test in his eagerness to please, Minhyun thought he might just make a small exception. The passing months had been a special treat for him, one who was already bored with the glitz and glamor of the industry, where everyone was the same, manufactured into perfection under the knife and spurred by their love for dollar bills. Cheap, sad, and not worthy of his time...but Hyunbin was different. And that was enough. For now. Fingers pressed against the glass before he leaned his forehead against it, Minhyun slowly pressed a kiss against the cool surface. The caterpillar seemed to yawn, mouth widening briefly before squirming it's clumsy body, shifting to find a new comfortable position. The elder laughed, pulling away as he stepped out of the room and flicking the lights off, pausing by the doorway for a moment to glance back at the giant box with a warm orange light glowing in the dark.

"Sleep tight, _my love_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: hello everyone! i have been working on this for a while now, and i hope you would have enjoyed it as much as i was trying to write it. it wasn't as creepy as i initially expected, but i tried! for those interested, the butterfly tattoo looks like an origami-shaped 'Ceylon Rose', but blue in color with black lines around the rims. if anyone has any particular questions, feel free to drop by my twitter mhb_sng or my curiouscat!.


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